To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
