I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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