I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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