Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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