Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
