who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
