She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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