I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
our cab driver is having phone sex.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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