if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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