you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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