Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
