That's when you crack a 10am beer
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
