$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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