just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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