i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize