I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
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