obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
