i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
