U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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