i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
