id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
