Its about making memories worth repressing
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize