I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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