so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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