im gay
i know
yea but for you.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
