More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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