make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
