Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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