i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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