Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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