If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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