Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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