He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize