omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
