She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He better not be in your backpack
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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