I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
