They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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