Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
