I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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