I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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