it was like his penis was on wheels.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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