yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I will die if light touches me.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Randomize
