I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
