i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
We just shotgunned beers for America
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
