Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
