absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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