omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize