naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
