How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
