Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
