I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
