I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
