i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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