He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
