Umm I'm too high to move.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
