Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Randomize
