She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
