he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
