Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Randomize
