Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
