I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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